Hands of Guilt
by deksi
Summary: Deeks gets a call from a friend in trouble. How can Deeks help his buddy?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi friends! This is a new story been swimming around my computer for a couple of months. So I'm going to spoil you and give you chapter 1 and 2 together. Let me know if you would like me to continue with it? **

**NCIS LA is not mine (disclaimer)**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 1**

He slowly ambled in and out the aisles in the small crowded souvenir shop in Los Angeles, glancing occasionally at the tacky assortment of memorabilia that filled the shelves. Ben Carting wasn't here to gift shop he was here to stake out a target. The overwhelming guilt he was feeling seemed as if lead weights were strapped to his body, threatening to drag his soul to the depths of hell. The daily fight never ceased between the torturous voice deep in his conscience that what he was doing was wrong and the helpless desire to satisfy his wants.

Ben Carting was no ordinary man, although in many ways he was. Six foot high with light brown cropped hair and blue eyes, he was originally from Nebraska. Having a slight drawl to his speech, anybody who met him would imagine him to be a country boy just landed in the big city off the back of a horse, but Ben was very much a city guy. Growing up in a hard family had taught him to be resilient, trusting no one except himself. The son of a torturous father who came home every night to enact his foul temper on the youngster for the simplest of reasons changed his life for the better or worse, he couldn't yet decide. The night his pissed off father grabbed the large kitchen knife from the bench meant he would no longer live like every other kid with his family. That night his father was angry at Ben's abilities at a task he had ordered on his son earlier, so after beating Ben black and blue he came back to the house threatening both his mother and his son. Ten year old Ben remembered his mother sobbing, trying to reason with the familiar shouts from a man she no longer recognised as the husband she married. The instant the knife slashed through her tiny torso, he knew. Knew it was over, the blood seeping from his mother was the sign of the end. Neighbours called the police over where they arrested his father and the ambulance took his mother away on the gurney, but she was never to come home again. The subsequent trial landed his tormentor eight years for the abuse of he and his mother and a further manslaughter charge that was later upgraded to murder meant life imprisonment.

Authorities later took Ben away, dragging the youngster to various foster homes well away from his father and cruel memories. Finally settling into Los Angeles, his new family home is where he learnt his craft. This new habit became ingrained in him so badly he didn't know how to get rid of it, let alone if he wanted to. He had honed his craft so well nobody knew what his demon was. The fact he was a highly skilled detective in the police force only added to the shame of his secret. Anyone was his target and the exciting rush of fulfilling his desires always seemed to wash away the guilt and today in this shop was no different. He had his target chosen and was ready to make his move. Ben didn't realise his nasty habit of pickpocketing would be the biggest mistake he would make.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Ben looked around the crowded room to see if anybody had seen him pickpocket the mobile phone. Sometimes it had been necessary to use his pickpocketing skills out in the field, especially when on an undercover assignment, but the fact that stealing was now an everyday occurrence for Ben meant he had a dirty little secret he had successfully managed to keep hidden for so many years and he was terrified that one day he would come undone and his career would be over.

Ben picked up a little Hollywood sign snow globe and took it to the counter. The item would serve nicely as a distraction in case anyone was suspicious. Paying cash meant no credit card records of it would be kept, so his identity was in the clear. He thought his young niece might like the snow globe and made a mental note to himself to wrap it later as her birthday was coming soon in July. Still warily glancing around, as he paid for the globe, he walked quickly out of the store and over to his car, opening the door to his silver SUV and got in.

Driving down the freeway towards Venice Beach, he saw the many people out enjoying the warm sunshine that had the temperatures rising above what it normally was for this time of year. The surf waves were crashing, making a thump against the shore as surfers jostled for the best ride of the waves. Nearby, beautiful young bikini-clad women were sunbathing. Some had looked like they had been out in the sun for hours oblivious or maybe ignorant of the damage they could be causing themselves. Ben never got tired of the beach and surf, he had often got up early to catch a wave or two before heading into work. A friend from the police academy who had grown up in Los Angeles had taught the very reluctant Ben to surf, but he was now happy to admit that he loved every minute of the time he spent out in the water.

Parking outside the complex block where he had a small two bedroomed apartment, he got out and made his way to the stairs when the unthinkable happened. Reaching into his pocket Ben got out the white coloured mobile phone. It was ringing. He slid his finger across the screen opening the line and he heard a man's voice on the other end.

'The bombs are set. We're ready to go. Press your remote control detonator on your phone when ready'

The line went dead and Ben was standing there shocked and disbelieving at what he just heard. The next decision would be what should he do…


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there! This chapter is a little longer than the past two (sorry about the shortness of Ch. 1 & 2 – they seemed longer when I was writing them lol) Anyway enough of my nattering…**

**Disclaimer: you guessed it…NCISLA is not mine**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 3**

Ben's hands were shaking at the phone call he just received on the stolen mobile phone he had taken. He knew he couldn't and indeed shouldn't handle something like this by himself, so he decided to call the one friend he knew since he was a young officer going through training, his friend Marty Deeks.

Ben and Deeks became friends when they joined up in the police force together when they were legally aged to do so. As they shared stories of their abusive family past, it soon became apparent that they were friends bound by the hurt and torture of their fathers that connected them in a way that Ben hadn't had before. Deeks in fact was the one who taught Ben to surf. Surfing was Deeks' way of escaping the world. All the gunfights, criminals, drug dealers could be washed away by a ride on the waves. Although Ben had seen the odd shark out in the ocean, it couldn't deter him from continuing his love. Indeed, Deeks had told him that once you knew how to surf the passion you felt for it would never leave. The number of times that Deeks had got into trouble for being late to a class was proof enough that Deeks had it bad for the waves.

**BACK AT OPS**

"Come on Kensi; give me your best shot. I'm sure I'll win though" Deeks pleaded to his partner who was sitting at her desk.

"I am not engaging in who can stuff the most marshmallows in their mouth contest with you Deeks" Kensi said, rolling her eyes.

"Is Kensi Blye scared of being beaten hmmm?" Deeks smiled.

"Deeks you _never_ call Kensi scared. Do you want to end up as shark food in the middle of the Pacific?" Callen warned him.

"No G let him dig his own grave. If he doesn't know by now that you should _never_ tempt Kensi to a contest then that's his own bad luck" Sam chuckled.

"You see Deeks? Even Sam and Callen know I am competitive and like to win" grinned Kensi.

"Well I'm not scared of….what's a good scary word that rhymes with Kensi?" Deeks asked cocking his head to the side in a look of thoughtfulness.

"Kick ass Kensi" all three agents said in unison.

"Wow, you guys are too cute" grinned Deeks.

Kensi looked at Callen and Sam then turned to her partner. "Okay fine Deeks. Just so you've been warned. You're going down!"

"Awesome! We'll see who ends up as a slave by the end of the week. Let's go Blye!"

Deeks and Kensi each took turns putting marshmallows in their mouths, but Deeks was getting the upper hand having 15 in his mouth. However Kensi gave one last push of two more and had 17 in her mouth and she was trying to say "I win", which no one could understand when Deeks shoved another three in, winning the game as Kensi spluttered out the marshmallows into her garbage bin beside her desk. Deeks raised his arms in triumph and had managed to eat quite a few of them, before also spitting out his collection too.

"Ugh, that was the most disgusting and revolting thing I have seen in a while Deeks" Callen frowned.

"Yeah, don't do that in public in front of us again thanks Deeks" said Sam, as he slapped Deeks on the back, causing Deeks to cough and gag on the last remnants of his mouthful.

"Thanks for that Sam. So kick ass Kensi goes down to Deeks the Dominator!" he yelled across the bullpen.

"Someone shoot me now" sighed Kensi, slamming her head on her desk. They heard Deeks new ringtone go off. The voice of Kensi saying 'I am too your type' echoed through the bullpen.

"Deeks! How did you get that…you have to take that off now!" a shocked Kensi reached for his phone, but he held it out of her grasp.

"I told you I was going to use it as my ringtone. Until you come up with a better one, this stays. Hello Marty Deeks!" he smirked.

Deeks listened as the familiar voice of Ben Carting was heard on his phone. Deeks reached for his car keys he held in a wooden box on his desk, along with a necklace a Mexican cop had given him for good luck. "Where are you?" Deeks asked as he opened his locker and pulled out his gun. "I'm on my way. Stay there".

Three sets of eyes were trained on Deeks as he ended the call and grabbed his go bag and started out of the bullpen.

"Deeks, who was that and where do you think you're going?" Kensi jumped the others by asking.

"Kens, that was Ben Carting, we met at the academy together and became friends. It sounds like he's in trouble. I'm going to meet him".

"Deeks maybe you should take Kensi with you as backup?" Callen grabbed his arm.

Deeks shook his head, "Ben's LAPD. This is probably a LAPD thing nothing to do with NCIS". With that, Deeks walked out the door defiant in his steps.

"Kensi, tail him in your car. We'll track him and check Ben's whereabouts from the GPS on Deeks' phone"

"Copy that" Kensi nodded pulling her keys from her pocket.

"Where did Mr Deeks go, Mr Callen?" Hetty asked as she walked over from her antique desk.

"Not sure Hetty. He just got a phone call from a friend he met at the police academy. Deeks thinks he could be in trouble. But I got a bad feeling about it"

"I get the feeling you could be right Mr Callen. And Kensi?"

"Tailing him as backup. Can we get Eric to work his magic at tracking where exactly the meet is Hetty?"

"That is a very good idea Mr Callen", Hetty said as she turned as whistled upstairs to which Eric appeared over the railing.

"Mr Beale, we are coming up. We need you to track Mr Deeks via GPS".

**Until next chapter friends….oh Reviews are my chocolate or marshmallows? No definitely chocolate – I don't like marshmallows. Much love xxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Time for another chapter friends! Hope you all enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: NCISLA is not mine. But Deeks is…as my wallpaper on my phone lol**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 4**

Deeks glanced in the rear view mirror to see his sassy partner Kensi tailing him in her SUV. He wasn't at all surprised to see her there. He figured that since he left the OSP centre pretty much in a rush, they would want to find out where he was going and back him up as a consequence. In one way he was relieved; Deeks always felt better whenever the team was by his side, especially one Kensi Blye; over the past few years the trust they had built up with each other was solid; a partnership that had gone through him getting shot, busting various drug runners, rescuing Hetty and nuclear warheads, yep they had gone through it all with a smile, and a healthy dose of laughter and wisecracks mostly from him but he had seen Kensi give as good as he gave her back to him usually with a closed fist to his shoulder to go along with it.

Deeks parked his car a few metres away from the park. Looking around, Deeks recognised it as the park he and Ben used to play basketball regularly on the set up public courts. There was also a children's playground at the far end and a skate park with the familiar screech of the wheels racing up and down the concretes walls. Deeks had many a scratched knee from early days of his youth here. He saw Ben hovering near the lamp post of the basketball court with a ball beside him on the ground and started walking towards him, the knot in his stomach gnawing at his instincts telling him that something didn't feel quite right.

"Okay guys, Deeks has stopped at El Dorado Park and is walking towards a guy near the basketball court, I'm presuming its Ben. I'm zooming in to get a photo of him for you Eric; hang on…" Kensi said into her ear piece, connecting her back to Ops.

"Thanks Kensi yep got it scanning it through facial rec now" Eric responded.

"Nell, find out what you can from LAPD databases about Ben Carting please and Deeks' connection, what their background working together is" Hetty said to her young analyst.

"On it Hetty", she nodded furiously typing away at her computer keys.

"Kens, you want us to help you there?" Callen asked.

"Let me see how this plays out first. As Deeks said, it may just be an innocuous meeting between two friends"

Deeks stopped in front of Ben sensing his nervousness. Something was definitely wrong it was just a matter of what it was…

"Ben, long time no see. What's the phone call all about?" Deeks asked, trying to keep his voice calm and casual.

"Deeks, I'm sorry to drag you into this. I...I didn't know if I should call you…" Ben stammered.

"It's okay man. How did you get the call?" Deeks asked then looked at Ben's obvious fiddling fingers and nervous glances around. "Oh shit Ben…Don't tell me you're still pickpocketing stuff?"

"Deeks…I'm sorry. I've tried to stop you know I have…I can't help it"

Deeks pulled his ear piece from his pocket and pushed it into his right ear; "Guys, I know you're there. Eric, can you trace the origin of the call from Ben's phone?"

"Searching now Deeks", Eric said looking at several computer screens at once. "I've hacked into the phone line; it looks like the call came from a place near you in Compton".

"Can you find who sent it Eric?" Sam asked.

"The place the call came from is an abandoned house no known residents live there now"

"Mr Callen, Mr Hanna can you check that house please" said Hetty.

"On our way Hetty. Deeks, take Ben to the boathouse, you can talk to him there" Callen said.

Deeks nodded and turned to Ben; "Let's go somewhere safe. You can tell us what happened and then we can find out more through the wonders of Eric's fingers"

Ben slowly nodded in agreement, before picking up the basketball at his feet and handing it to Deeks.

"How 'bout having a shot for old times' sake Deeks? See if you can still land a basket?"

"Ha, I whipped your ass when we were kids I can still do it now. Watch this Benny boy!"

Deeks smiled as turned to the ring and lined up his shot from the top of the key. He watched the ball sail into the air and hit the backboard. The loud bang was the first thing Deeks heard as he was knocked backwards off his feet from the explosion. Orange flames licked at Deeks' shirt as he rolled to try to put out the fire. The painful scream that came out of his mouth was not something Deeks had remembered hearing before, his chest, back and arms quickly forming blisters and a red raw colouring. He groaned and staggered to his elbows and knees looking around for Ben, but he was nowhere to be found. He couldn't be certain as he felt that his ears were deafened from the sound of the blast but he thought the last thing he heard as he slumped to the ground was his partner Kensi screaming his name, before a silent darkness crept into his eyesight.

**Oh no poor Deeks! Until next chapter dudes! Reviews welcome. Much love xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey gang! Okay so don't worry Deeks isn't too badly hurt….or is he?**

**Disclaimer: NCISLA is not mine. Except here on fanfiction hehe**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 5**

"Deeks! Oh my God! Deeks!" Kensi yelled as she ran over to the court and crashed on her knees beside her partner.

"Eric ambulance now!" she screamed into her comms as she started looking at the damage to Deeks' body.

"It's already on the way Kensi, hang on" Eric tried to reassure her, not that it was doing much good.

"Kensi, we'll be there in two minutes" Sam said as the screech of the tyres on his Challenger could be heard in the background.

A small groan started coming from Deeks' mouth as he gingerly started to move, opening his eyes to see the panic and fear on Kensi's face. That look of terror was not something he saw many times before and it was not something he cared to see again, especially since the look was directly in relation to the hurt he had experienced because of the blast.

"Oh shit, that hurts! Wait where's Ben?" he wailed with a grimace.

"Ben's taken off. I can see the ambulance now Deeks, hang on we'll get you to the hospital" Kensi soothed as best she could, truthfully inside her stomach was in knots and her hands were shaking.

"Kens, don't ever get yourself blown up…it isn't as fun as you think" said Deeks.

"Yeah well trust you to be the one to get blown up" Kensi smiled half-heartedly.

"I'll be fine Kens, besides you still need to be my slave after losing the battle of the marshmallows" Deeks smiled broadly. "I can't possibly die until you have been my slave".

"Is that so? Well we'll see about that Detonated Deeks" she gently gave him a little punch.

"No, no Fern, it's Deeks the Dominator and can't you see man in pain here?" Deeks frowned, but gave her a small grin.

Sam and Callen roared up to the car park and when they stopped they rushed over to the crime scene to see Deeks and Kensi.

"Stay still Deeks. Jesus the things you get yourself into Deeks" Sam said as the two paramedics came forward carrying medical bags and a carry stretcher.

"What do we have?" the older paramedic, Chris asked the team, who had surrounded Deeks.

"This is our team member, Detective Marty Deeks LAPD, there was a bomb explosion about ten minutes ago, Deeks was caught in the line of fire", Callen told him.

"You're all cops?" the younger man, Rory asked.

"Just Detective Deeks is LAPD. The rest of us are NCIS" Sam replied.

"A bomb really? Okay well at first look Mr, sorry Detective Deeks is pretty lucky. It doesn't look like he got too badly burnt but you never know with burns. They can get infected pretty quickly and dangerously. We'll take him now to Pacific Beach Medical Hospital. Anyone want a ride with us?" Chris asked.

"I will" Kensi said stepping forward.

"Kens, you sure that's a good idea?" asked Callen.

"Yes, my partner needs me" Kensi didn't want any arguments against her decision and strode step by step by the stretcher as he was walked to the waiting ambulance and loaded into the back.

"Okay Kensi but keep in touch. And you may not be able to stay the whole time with Deeks. We'll need you to help us with the investigation into this" Sam said gently but forcefully.

"Fine. Let me know when you need me" said Kensi as Chris shut the door behind her.

"Sam let's check out the scene of the bomb explosion while we're here" Callen said.

Callen and Sam checked out the area and looked specifically at the basketball itself and the backboard and hoop.

"Check this out G" said Sam as he gingerly picked up a small wire detonator.

"What are your instincts telling you Sam?"

"To me it looks like the ball had a tiny charge inserted in the hole. When Deeks hit the backboard it set it off. And look at this too, a pack hidden at the back of the backboard where it wasn't seen"

"But anyone could have been using this court. Which means Ben set this bomb especially for Deeks. Set it when Deeks arrived, then triggered it when he asked Deeks to shoot for the hoop." asked Callen.

"Exactly. This guy Deeks met with, Ben has a beef about something to do with Deeks. We need to find out why" nodded Sam.

The bomb squad soon arrived to secure the scene so Callen and Sam made their way back to Ops centre. They pushed through the front doors and over to Hetty's desk to see if Kensi had checked in from the hospital yet.

"Any word from Kensi?" Sam asked.

"Apparently Mr Deeks has burns to around 30 per cent of his body. Considering the explosion that is a miracle for him. His burns are being treated as we speak. At this stage, he may need a few skin grafts to his torso and arms but we won't know for sure until a little later. He is sedated a little but the pain is manageable at the moment. Kensi says Mr Deeks is eager to get out of hospital as quickly as possible and find Ben Carting" Hetty replied.

"Well that is exactly what we want to do too. Find Carting" Callen said angrily.

Hetty's telephone on her desk buzzed and she picked it up and answered it, "Yes Nell". She listened as Nell said they may have a few details about Ben if she would like to come upstairs.

"We'll be right up Miss Jones" said Hetty. "Eric and Nell may have a few details about Mr Carting. Let's get up to the tech room".

**I didn't want to too badly injure my boy Deeks. He is my favourite. Anyway reviews welcome. Til next time dudes! Much love xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay I'm **_**truly **_**sorry I haven't updated the story for a little bit. Sometimes life gets in the way of things…like getting a new job (yay!) then getting a bad cold from new job (grrrr!) Anyway I have a couple of days off work so here goes….**

**Disclaimer: usual thing...NCISLA not mine.**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 6**

Kensi paced the hospital hallway anxiously waiting for news of her partner. She hated being here again. The last time she was here was because Deeks was shot. Her thoughts turned to that day, learning of his shooting when she arrived at work, then waiting by his bedside to wake from the operation to remove the bullets, going through a list of possible suspects for the crime, to running outside to hear from Sam that she was the target when the real shooters arrived at the hospital to possibly kidnap her she managed to free herself before ducking as Deeks appeared at the entrance just in pants, his torso was bloodied but he managed to shoot dead Kensi's attackers, saving her from harm. Kensi would always remember that day how amazed she was at the sacrifice Deeks went to help her especially since he split open his stitched wounds in the process of leaving his bed to come to her aid.

Kensi saw the doctor wheeling in Deeks to a private room. She followed him in and introduced herself.

"Kensi Blye NCIS Federal Agent. How's my partner doing?"

"Ah Kensi Blye! All Mr Deeks kept saying as he was going under the anaesthetic was your name. He's doing well. We placed some skin grafts to the main areas of damage and bandaged where needed. Burns can be tricky to deal with. The risk of infection is high. All in all he is one lucky man. He should be awake in a few minutes if you'd like to stay with him" said Doctor Knight.

"When can he leave? I know he's going to ask me, he hates hospitals. No offence" Kensi said still slightly blushing at the knowledge of Deeks calling for her just before his operation.

"None taken we get that all the time. Well he'll have to have his bandages changed and redressed every day with cream applied. Does he have someone to take care of that side of things?

"I can do that Doctor. I have medical field training. He can stay at my apartment so I can keep an eye on infections and things like that" Kensi said _'Did I really just say that I'll play nurse to Deeks?' _ She thought _'or maybe this is what I want…to be able to get close to Deeks'_

"Well if the likelihood of infection is low then I may let him out in a couple of days, but no earlier" smiled the medic.

"Okay thanks Doctor" smiled Kensi as she shook his hand and walked into Deeks' room.

Deeks was hooked up to an IV drip and had bandages all over his burns. Kensi grimaced as she saw the state of him. She knew burns could be horrendously painful. She sat on the stool beside the bed and smiled as she saw Deeks' nose give a slight twitch. He had told her if she saw him twitch like that it meant he was happy. _'Could Deeks be thinking about me?'_ Kensi wondered as Deeks began to stir himself awake.

"Hey is it all over?" Deeks said sleepily; "The operation I mean"

"Yep all over. You got a few skin grafts and bandages but you got lucky. It could have been a lot worse" Kensi smiled in relief.

"So do I get to go home then?"

"Not until the doctor checks for any infection. Then you can come home with me"

"What do you mean come home with you Kens?"

"Goofball it means you have bandages that will need redressing and tending to so I told the doctor I will look after…"

"You're going to be my nurse Kensi? Really? Wow. I mean I don't want to be a burden to you or anything. Besides there's Monty I have to consider too"

"Monty can stay too. My yard is small but it will do. And _if_ you turn this into anything other than me helping you out because you've been injured you _will_ have a lot more injuries to deal with. Get the picture Deeks?"

"Okay okay! Geez. Thanks Kensi. It means a lot to me" Deeks said as Nurse Georgia came into the room.

"Okay now can I trust you with the nurse while I connect back to Ops?"

"There's only one nurse I'm thinking about now Kens"

Kensi just rolled her eyes as she pulled out her iPad and searched the contacts for work. She was directed straight to the tech room where she was put on the loudspeaker so Sam, Callen, Hetty, Eric and Nell could hear both Kensi and Deeks at the same time.

**OPS CENTRE**

"Hey Kensi, how's Deeks doing?" Callen asked.

"Deeks is doing great thanks Callen" Deeks called out.

"Just a second Callen. I just want to wait until the nurse is finished with Deeks" said Kensi.

Deeks let out a laugh and even Sam gave a chuckle as Kensi realised what she had just said.

"Ha-ha guys. I didn't mean it like that" she sighed. "Do you want to wait until Deeks gets out of hospital before we go further with finding Ben Carting or what?"

"Actually Kensi we have some details on Ben here on the big screen which Eric's also sending to your tablet" Callen said.

Kensi slid her fingers over the touch screen so the video link of her and Deeks and the photos from Ops could be seen side by side.

"Go ahead Miss Jones", said Hetty.

Nell nodded; "Ben Carting, 32 years old. Detective with LAPD. Ben joined LAPD at the same time as Deeks. They met at the academy and became friends"

"All true so far" grinned Deeks.

"Ben grew up in an abusive home. Was fostered out to numerous families in the Mid-West before he finally settled in LA" Nell continued.

"Sounds similar to Deeks' background" Sam said to Callen, who nodded in response.

"That's probably why we became good friends. We both had a screwed up home life. Our childhoods were pretty similar. We clicked pretty much as soon as we met at the academy and I taught him to surf" said Deeks.

"Is there anything we may not know about Ben that you do Deeks?" Callen asked.

"There is one thing but he'd lose his job if I told you"

"Deeks he is already going to lose his job after trying to blow you up. Spill it!" Kensi said shaking her head.

"Ben has…Ben does things…" Deeks hedged fiddling his fingers and moving uneasily in the bed.

"Deeks! Come on we need to know" Sam growled impatiently.

"Ben has a habit of pickpocketing…and I don't mean the occasional pickpocket on an undercover op. He does it every day. The phone he got was a light fingered pickup" Deeks sighed.

"But Deeks, at the park we found clues. We believe that Ben deliberately set off that bomb to target you. The question is why Ben wanted you dead" Callen frowned.

"I don't know everything about Ben…" Deeks said hesitantly.

"Deeks please" Kensi pleaded.

Deeks looked at Kensi and sighed. He couldn't bear to see the hurt in her eyes because he was holding back.

"I have suspicions about Ben and his past and I've been doing some digging" he said.

"What sort of suspicions Mr Deeks?" Hetty asked.

"Well I don't think Ben Carting is his real name for a start..."

**So what does Deeks suspect about Ben? Find out next time! Reviews most welcome. Much love xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey there good people! So here we go with another chapter…**

**Disclaimer: as per usual NCISLA is not mine**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 7**

"What do you mean Deeks? What makes you think Ben Carting isn't his real name?" asked Kensi.

"When I discovered Ben's habit of pickpocketing I decided to do a little digging about him and his past. I felt so guilty about doing it since Ben was a friend but I found that the last foster home he arrived at was the one where he learnt his theft craft. His foster father was a cop and a crooked one at that. Ben's foster father, James Sanderson fought in the first Gulf War as a bomb diffuser expert. After the war Sanderson joined the police where his skills were put to use in the bomb squad" Deeks explained.

"I'm thinking James Sanderson taught Ben all about bombs" Sam grumbled.

"So am I", nodded Callen, "Go on Deeks".

"I also discovered that Sanderson had a lucrative little sideline where he was using Ben to sell drugs to teenagers at school. The kids would get high, get into trouble causing the police to have to attend to the scenes of out of control kids, meaning more overtime for the cops which the police couldn't afford to give out. I went undercover and caught Sanderson buying the drugs for those purposes and exposed him to internal affairs. Sanderson was thrown out of the police force and into jail for his crimes"

"But how come Ben still thought of you as a friend Deeks? Wouldn't the fact that you discovered James Sanderson's illegal activities alert Ben to your involvement?" Kensi asked.

"I pleaded with the officials at LAPD to not tell Ben it was me who discovered Sanderson's crimes. Ben was holidaying in Europe with a girlfriend at the time of Sanderson's arrest, so Ben never discovered it was me…until my name came up in court" Deeks said sadly.

"So Ben knows you found out what Sanderson was up to and reported him and has decided now to seek revenge. What is Ben's real name then?" Callen asked.

"Ricky Hanaren. Ben changed his name after James Sanderson's arrest. Ben felt like he didn't want to be a part of the Sanderson name anymore" said Deeks.

"You said James Sanderson was only a foster father to Ben though Deeks" Sam frowned.

"James Sanderson was a foster father but wanted to adopt Ben formally. The authorities wouldn't allow it because Sanderson was a single dad, his wife Naomi was killed by a truck that lost its load of gas cylinders which then exploded, onto her car killing her in the resulting explosions. So Sanderson had Ben's name changed by deed poll to Ricky Sanderson".

"Ben was in on James Sanderson's crimes though. I mean Sanderson used Ben to deal and sell the drugs at school. Why would he feel like he had to change his name?" asked Kensi.

"Oh believe me Ben knew exactly what he was doing. He didn't think I knew about his deals at school but through a couple of kids I got to know through a few misdemeanours I picked them up on they told me all about Ben's dealings. I kept quiet that I knew to keep the case against Sanderson strong. If you remember a couple of months back I was away from NCIS for a couple of days?"

"Yeah you never told us why you were gone Deeks. I'm still mad about that" Kensi said as she nudged Deeks' arm with her elbow, more gently than normal though, seeing as he was injured.

"That's why I was gone. Internal affairs had Ben under surveillance and caught him doing the deals and other illegal stuff and arrested him. The court let him out on bail and he is due to be sentenced next month. And I'm subpoenaed to testify against him there too"

"So Ben now realises your involvement in both Sanderson's arrest and his own. Nell find out if James Sanderson is alive and where he is".

"On it", the little red headed analyst said as she moved her fingers deftly over the keys.

"Records show James Sanderson was sentenced to fifteen years jail, with no parole for supplying drugs for use for dealing to minors. He is alive and currently serving time at the County Jail" Nell answered.

"He is not due to get out until 2014" added Eric.

"Sanderson has received one visitor during his incarceration" Nell said.

"Let me guess, Ben Carting" Callen gave a thin smile.

"Correct guess Callen. Ben has been visiting on and off for the past few months especially" smiled Nell.

"So what's our next step then guys?" asked Kensi.

"Sam and I will pay a visit to James Sanderson", answered Callen.

"Don't leave me out of this. I want to catch Ben myself. He deserves to get a little bit injured by my own hands" Deeks groaned in a mixture of pain and anger.

"We're not leaving you out of this Deeks. Right now you have to focus on getting yourself healed and out of hospital. Let Sam and I talk to Sanderson first, then we'll think about the next step. I believe you're going home with Kensi when you're released?" Callen smiled.

"The doctor is coming around in about twenty minutes to do an assessment on Deeks' injuries. If the doc is happy then he'll be allowed to leave" said Kensi.

"Nurse Kensi. Has a nice ring to it don't ya think?" grinned Deeks.

"Well it does mean I'll be in charge of changing the plasters on your body. Don't you have a lot of hair where your bandages are Deeks?" smirked Kensi.

"You wouldn't be so cruel to your injured partner would you Kensi?" smiled Deeks.

"That all depends on how good and well behaved you are as a patient doesn't it?" purred Kensi. "I mean these hands can be used for good or evil".

**There you go. Next chapter Deeks goes home to Kensi but is allowed to start finding Ben. Reviews most welcome. Much much love xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey friends! Sorry for the lack of update to the story. Life…you know how it gets busy sometimes. Anyway I thought I'd do a quick chapter here before going to jump in the pool…since its 105 degrees F today (41 C for those who use Celsius). That's what you get with a hot Australian summer in Perth!**

**Disclaimer: NCISLA is not mine.**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 8**

"You're free to go home Detective Deeks; however I want you to take care of your injuries. Burns can be dangerous and can turn infectious at any time. Do you understand?" the doctor said.

"Don't worry doc, I've got the best nurse in LA to look after them. Don't I Kensi?" Deeks said, smiling at his partner.

"Can I offload him back here if he annoys me too much doctor?" Kensi asked with a smirk to Deeks.

"Ouch Kensi! Boy you sure know how to dig the knife in" Deeks feigned hurt placing his hand over his heart.

"I think I'll leave you two to sort things out. Call me if you think his injuries are getting worse" the doctor said handing Kensi his card.

"Will do doctor, and thanks for looking after him", she smiled and shook his hand, "Come on Deeks, let's get going".

The drive back to Kensi's house went relatively quickly, since Deeks was in the car chattering nonstop as per usual. She had to admit to herself she always felt calm and secure knowing her sometimes annoying partner's constant blabbering meant that Deeks was in perfect health. It was when he didn't talk that she knew something was wrong.

She grabbed Deeks' bag out of the back of the car and the two partners walked up the path to her door. Walking inside, Deeks heard Monty give a bark from the small yard outside Kensi's apartment and he quickly walked to the back door and opened it to be pounced upon by a highly excited Monty.

"Monty hey it's good to see you too buddy" Deeks laughed as his shaggy dog was smothering him with licks.

"Go easy Monty, daddy's just got out of hospital", Kensi smiled as she tugged gently at his collar.

"Do you see that over there Deeks?"

Deeks turned to the right side near the back door and saw Monty's kennel up against the wall, "Hey that's Monty's kennel. You didn't have to bring that over Kens".

"Well it's not just for Monty. If you play up that will be your home and bed for the next two weeks".

"Geez now I know what they mean when they say you're in the doghouse" Deeks pouted.

"Come on, we'll call Callen, see if they have any news for us" Kensi soothed.

Kensi dialled Callen's cell to see if there was any news on Ben Carting. He answered it on the second ring and smiled when she heard his voice.

"Hey Callen, any updates on Carting?" Kensi asked.

"Sam and I went out to the jail to see Ben's foster father Sanderson. I'll tell ya, Sanderson has a whole lotta hate for Deeks. We'll have to keep an eye on him if he does get paroled in 2014. Basically Sanderson backed up everything Deeks said about Ben. The sick bastard even laughed and smiled when we told him about the attack on Deeks by Ben. He said, 'What a pity I wasn't there to see it. I could have told Ben how to do the job properly, really make sure Deeks died'. Some people Kensi, don't deserve to live" said Callen.

"Wow, what a sicko. Let's hope he never gets paroled" said Kensi and she shushed Deeks who was trying to eavesdrop.

"Well if Hetty has anything to do with it Sanderson will not get that chance. How's Deeks going anyway? You haven't killed him yet have you?" laughed Callen.

"Not yet… there's always tomorrow though. So how are going with tracking Ben down then?" asked Kensi.

"Eric and Nell are working on it, but we got nothing solid yet. Is Deeks able to work Kensi?"

"The doctor would rather he be tied to his desk as he doesn't want Deeks' burns to get infected by dirt, fights whatever but I can't see Fidget boy sitting still for too long. So I don't know what to do with him".

"I'm right in front of you Kensi, I can hear you speaking about me" Deeks interrupted.

"Well bring him in tomorrow if he's up to it. I'm sure we can find something for him to do that's not going to get him into too much trouble in that regard. Let me know if I can do something okay?"

"Okay thanks Callen, see you" Kensi said as she hung up the phone.

"I'm not that much of a nuisance am I Kens? I mean I can go back to my place anytime" Deeks whispered.

"No…Deeks I'm sorry if I upset you. I was just messing around. I like having you around really." Kensi reassured him. "How about a pizza for dinner tonight?"

"As long as it's a half and half" grinned Deeks.

Kensi sighed, as she reached for the number for the pizza place, "fine half your favourite half my favourite".

"And marshmallows too!" called out Deeks as he ambled to the bathroom.

"Ugh… I'm not getting marshmallows. In fact I never want to see a marshmallow ever again Deeks" Kensi shouted back.

They sat on the sofa twenty minutes later with pizza slices and Kensi grabbing a beer from her fridge and a soda for Deeks, to which Deeks looked at her beer and his soda and put on the biggest pout.

"Where's my beer Kens?" he whined.

"Uh uh, you are on meds Deeks, no alcohol until you are off them"

"That sucks big time"

"Poor baby. I've put clean sheets on my bed for you. I can take the sofa when you're ready to sleep Deeks"

"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed Kensi. I can take the sofa honestly. Or even better we can both take the bed"

"Deeks…I'm sure Monty won't like you having to sleep in his kennel you know"

"Come on Kens…we've shared a bed before successfully. Please?"

"Fine. But since it is my bed I get to sleep on the right side" she grinned, "I'll go take a shower are you going to be okay to get undressed with your bandages and everything?"

A sly smile appeared across Deeks' face as he heard what his partner just said, "I always knew you wanted me for my body sugar bear"

"Pfft yeah you wish Deeks", said Kensi as she picked up her things and walked to her bathroom.

Deeks had managed to get undressed into his pyjama bottoms, leaving his upper torso naked because the bandages were getting a little uncomfortable. He was already sitting in her bed when Kensi walked out of the bedroom in her own sleepwear. She gave a little gasp as she saw her partner half naked with bandages covering his body caused by the explosion.

"You okay Deeks? Do you need some pain meds?" Kensi asked as she sat down next to him.

"Stop fussing Kensi, the bandages are a little itchy that's all. If I need the pain meds I can get them myself"

"Really? If you're sure?"

"I'm sure, now let's snuggle down and get some rest. We have a criminal to catch tomorrow" Deeks assured her, until he felt a small twist of one of his fingers by Kensi.

"Okay okay Kens, best behaviour", Deeks said as he reached over to turn off the lamp.

"Good boy. Night Deeks" smiled Kensi.

"Night partner" Deeks smiled in return.

The shrill sound of Deeks' cell phone pierced through the dark night. Deeks groaned and turned over and reached for the cell on the bedside table. He heard Kensi groan too and cursed silently at the caller at 12.30 at night.

"Don't think the bomb was the end of it Deeks. Not seeing you dead was the worst feeling I have felt. I know your partners saw my foster father. I'm out to get you Deeks. Keep looking over your shoulder".

The line stopped dead as he sat upright wide awake than ever. Kensi opened her eyes and saw his demeanour and also forced herself awake with a terrible feeling warming in her stomach.

"Who was that Deeks?" Kensi asked though she had a strong feeling she knew.

"One guess" he said.

"Ben Carting" Kensi answered.

"Bingo"

"What did he say?"

"He said he knows we interviewed his foster father. He also said the bomb wasn't the end of it and he's out to get me"

"I'll call Ops" Kensi said as she reached for her phone.

**So there we are. I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas (no I didn't find Deeks under my tree. Damn Santa I've been a good girl too!) And have a wonderful New Year's too. For me now its pool time ! Oh reviews most welcome. Much love xxxx Til next time friends…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi again friends! Here is the next chapter for you all. Hope you enjoy xxx**

**Disclaimer: same old thing…NCISLA is not mine**

**HANDS OF GUILT **

**CHAPTER 9**

Deeks searched the floor of Kensi's bedroom looking for his jeans and shirt that he had thrown down from the previous night, while Kensi made the call. He felt uneasy after hearing from Ben Carting and was well aware that not only his life could be in danger, but that of his partner Kensi and the other team members too. Deeks never wanted to involve the team as he felt that since Ben was a man from his past with LAPD, however Sam had soon put the kibosh on any misgivings he might have had about the situation, assuring Deeks that they were a team of which he was a part of and any problem that one of the team had was a problem the whole team would share.

"Okay I just got off the phone to Callen. He said to come into Ops and we'll start going through it all" Kensi said.

"Callen? What was he doing at Ops?" Deeks asked as he buttoned his shirt.

"He wasn't at Ops. You know how Callen hardly sleeps, well I figured I'll call him first and I was right. He was awake practicing his Russian".

"I don't know how he does it. Running on so little sleep" Deeks said, shaking his head in amazement.

"I haven't figured that one out either. I like my sleep" said Kensi, pulling on her clothes.

"Yes I know. Little Miss Piglet" snorted Deeks.

"Would you like to walk to Ops Deeks?" frowned Kensi.

"No…but it's my turn to drive" Deeks grinned as he snatched the keys from Kensi's table.

Being late at night, the traffic was minimal than the usual twenty five minute snarly drive it took during peak hour traffic. Sam's car was already parked in the driveway with the others' cars nearby. Deeks followed in behind Callen's car and he and Kensi walked in and straight up to the tech room.

"Hey Deeks, Kensi. Tell us what happened" Callen said first up.

Deeks and Kensi retold the phone call from Ben Carting not long ago as Deeks handed his phone to Eric. Eric started tapping away furiously on his computer, hoping to pick up a trace of Ben's location.

"Sorry guys. Looks like Carting's using a burn phone. It makes it hard to track him down" Eric sighed.

"Well I guess we'll just have to wait until Ben wants to meet me somewhere then" Deeks said without much confidence.

"Isn't there anything we can do to trace him Eric? Deeks could be in danger here and I don't particularly want to see him get blown up again" Kensi asked.

"Sorry Kensi. You know burn phones make things difficult" Eric apologised.

"Aw Kens. Didn't think you cared that much about me" Deeks smiled.

"Well I've got you trained and broken in just how I want right now. I don't feel like trying to train another partner, when the one I got is perfectly fine" Kensi grinned.

"Gee thanks partner"

"Deeks is right. We may have to wait until Carting makes a move" Sam said, "Which I don't like. I'd prefer us to make the first move".

"Deeks you're gonna have to be on your guard. We'll protect you as best we can, but until Carting calls or something…" Callen began.

"We can't make the first move. Got it" Deeks finished.

"Guys I'm just thinking here…" Nell said thoughtfully.

"What is it Nell?" Kensi asked.

"Well Carting called Deeks and asked him to meet him at the basketball courts"

"Where Deeks got blown up right…" said Sam.

"Well the basketball courts are where Deeks said he and Carting used to play" Nell said.

"Yeah…" Kensi faltered.

"Maybe Carting is using familiar locations known to both him and Deeks…" Callen said catching on to Nell's train of thought.

"Could be onto something Nell. Deeks can you write down all the sites you used to hang out with Carting. Parks, buildings, suburbs, people?" Callen said.

"Of course. Shit, why didn't I think of that? You little genius Nell" Deeks said as he hurried to his computer downstairs.

The rest of the team followed him down to the bullpen, anxiously watching and waiting for Deeks to finish his list.

"Okay done. Do your thing you two" Deeks said, as he sent the data to Nell and Eric.

The two computer wizards started cross referencing and analysing Deeks' list to come up with something the team could use to give them a start.

"Okay we may have a start" Eric said tapping away on his little tablet.

"A start is a start. What have you got Eric?" Sam asked.

"There are quite a few places on the list. Gee Deeks you got around. Um, there's an old house near the basketball courts that Deeks and Carting used to go that belonged to Sanderson's mother. There's also the beach. Deeks did teach Carting to surf".

"Alright send the details of the old house to my phone Eric" Callen said as he and Sam headed to the Challenger.

"The Beach house" Deeks gasped.

"What? What Beach house Deeks?" Kensi asked.

"After our surf, we used to head to an old beach house near the beach to have a few beers and get changed, before heading into work"

"Is the beach house still there Deeks?"

"I haven't used it in years. After going surfing now, I usually just head back home, because I don't always use that beach that I taught Ben to surf at. I surf at different beaches"

"Let's go check it out anyway" Kensi nodded.

Deeks drove Kensi's SUV down to the coast and followed the coastline until coming to the right area. He slowed down and crept passed the beach house surveying the perimeter and house from the car.

"Can't see a car parked here" Deeks observed.

"Carting may not be driving a car. Or if he is, it's probably a rental" Kensi answered.

"True. Shall we take a better look in the house?"

"Okay. Let's do it" Kensi said as she checked her gun.

Deeks parked further down the street and he and Kensi walked back to the house. Nearing the front path, they drew out their guns in anticipation. Kensi took the rear of the house while Deeks waited at the front.

"Ready Deeks? On my count of three" Kensi whispered.

"Ready when you are Kens" Deeks whispered back.

"One…"

The shatter of glass sprayed across the front window from the person inside the house. Deeks took a quick peek to see if he recognised the shooter. He did. Carting barrelled through the window and straight at Deeks, knocking him to the ground. A right fisted punch to Deeks' stomach sent him gasping for air. Kensi charged in the back and raced through the house when she saw the fight on the front porch. She aimed her gun directly at Carting, but with he and Deeks brawling there was no way she could get off a clean hit.

"Deeks! Move!" Kensi yelled.

A shot rang out from Deeks' gun, but Carting had managed to turn the gun away from him and the bullet grazed Deeks' arm. Carting gave one last kick to Deeks' stomach before aiming his gun at Kensi and firing, causing her to take cover behind the door.

"Deeks!" she yelled.

"I'm okay Kens. It's just a graze. Shit Ben. Asshole. Where is he?" Deeks groaned.

"Swearing is not going to help Deeks. I couldn't get a shot off cleanly. He's taken off."

Ben ran as fast as he could, not stopping to look back. He headed for his rental car, parked in an old shed nearby. Starting the engine, he reversed out and drove straight to the one place both he and Deeks knew well. Where he would wait for Deeks to come for him.

"You think you got me Deeks? You just wait for what's coming…" Ben sniggered.

**Next chapter soon! Reviews welcome. Much love xxx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Well hello again! Yes time for another update chapter. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: blah blah yep as per usual NCISLA is not mine…still a girl can wish.**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 10**

"Eric, can you get a track on Ben Carting? He was here at this Beach House. He shot Deeks and took off." Kensi practically yelled into the comms in her ear.

"Deeks is shot? How is he Kensi?" Eric asked nervously, while typing away.

"He's okay. Got a grazing shot in his arm. I've put a temporary bandage on it. We'll get it checked later, right now I want that bastard Carting for shooting my partner!"

"Ow, geez Ben you are in for it now big time asshole", groaned Deeks.

"Who was that? Was that Deeks?" asked Nell.

"Eric! Now would be a good time!" Kensi hollered.

"Okay got your location Kensi, checking traffic cams now" Eric answered.

"Kens I got your location, Sam and I will be there in ten" Callen interrupted.

"Copy Callen. You ready to go Deeks?"

"Got him, he's driving a dark grey Subaru. Looks like he's heading towards the north coast", Eric said hurriedly.

"Kensi wait until Sam and I get to you, then we'll go after Ben. Eric don't lose him" Callen said.

"But Callen…Ben he's getting away" Kensi said frustratingly.

"Kensi, I mean it. Stay there until we arrive. We're a team we stick together. Got it?" Sam said.

Kensi sighed, "Fine, got it Sam. How far out are you?"

"Another few minutes, hang in there"

Sam and Callen pulled up next to Kensi's car and Sam opened the passenger door where the injured Deeks was sitting, bleeding and moaning.

"Let me check it Deeks" Sam said, gently pulling up Kensi's makeshift bandage.

"Sam?" Callen asked.

"You were right, it's a graze. Hetty can clean this up later"

"What…wait….Hetty? The last time she touched me for anything medical she stabbed me with a needle!" Deeks said nervously.

"And you dropped like a sack of potatoes to the floor" Kensi snickered, "What will happen this time I wonder?"

"Okay we should get back to business though guys. Eric, has Ben stopped anywhere or is he still driving?" Callen chuckled.

"He looks like he's stopped. It appears to be a house. 6534 Green Road…" Nell said.

"That's the house we shared for a few months during our time in the academy, until Ben got his own place and I got mine" Deeks faltered.

"You think he's rigged the place Sam?" asked Callen.

"I wouldn't put it past him G. In fact, I'd say it's highly likely. Let's move." Sam said bending to get into the Challenger.

The four team members drove quickly in the traffic to the location Eric directed them to. Kensi could sense Deeks was nervous and without thinking she reached over and placed her hand on his thigh.

"You good Deeks? You seem pretty on edge right now" she asked, glancing at him as she drove the car.

He looked down at her rested hand and gave a little smile, "Yeah I'm good Kens. It's just I feel so responsible for getting everyone involved with Ben. I hate the fact that he could injure you or Sam or Callen and it would be my fault. I don't care so much for myself…but you guys. You guys are all I have…I couldn't live with myself if something happened to any of you"

"Deeks, look at me" Kensi raised her voice, "I am not going to let Ben Carting injure you again, so get that thought out of your head right now. And two, this isn't your fault. You weren't to know Ben would get all crazy revenge guy on you because of the past. Besides no one gets to kill you, unless it's me"

"You want to kill me Kensi?"

"Sometimes. Don't worry I wouldn't do it for real. The paperwork would do my head in"

"Nice to know partner. We're here; the house is on the right there"

The single storey house looked fairly run down, with overgrown grass out the front and a couple of broken windows at the side. In its day, it was quite a nice little house and Deeks was a little saddened to see the state of it now.

"Okay so how we gonna do this Sam?" Callen asked.

"I should take the front" Deeks said.

"Deeks…"

"Callen, it's me Ben's wants. I'd rather take the hit than any of you"

"Deeks and I will take the front G, you and Kensi can take the rear. Deeks what's the layout of the house?" Sam asked.

"Ah…front room is lounge, the other front room is the master bedroom, then another room down the hall, kitchen at the back with side laundry, bathroom on the right down the hall" Deeks said pointing out each window.

"Alright, let's do this" Callen said checking his gun. "Eric can you get a heat signature, see if Ben's in there?"

"Checking…red heat one person in there. Going by what Deeks said, Carting's in the smaller bedroom" answered Eric.

"Ben's old room" said Deeks.

Sam and Deeks walked up the small front steps and stopped at the door. They waited until Callen confirmed he and Kensi were in position around the back.

"Ben! I know you're in there. I'm here, what have you got?" Deeks called out.

"Deeks, you just don't die do you. That changes right now. Come on in…I left the door unlocked for you" Ben yelled back.

Sam took hold of the handle and slowly started to turn it. He heard a click and instantly distinguished that it wasn't the click of a door opening but a more deadly click of a connector engaging to a device…

"Deeks get down!" Sam yelled as the door exploded with a fiery bang. "G, he has it rigged! Be careful!"

Callen and Kensi burst through the back door just as Sam and Deeks recovered from the explosion to dodge their way through the flames and into the house. Deeks ran to Ben's old room and stood in the doorway, his gun aimed, ready to fire.

"Ben, it ends here. There's no way out for you. It's over" Deeks said looking at every corner of the room.

"One of us will die here Deeks. I'm sure it's not going to be me" Ben sneered.

"Well I wouldn't be counting on that my friend" Deeks said, as he heard the voice come from the somewhere in the room, from where he couldn't tell.

"Friend? You have got to be kidding me Deeks! After what you did to me and my stepdad? There's no way in hell that you are any friend of mine"

"I had to do what I had to do Ben. You knew all along what Sanderson was doing. I was doing my job. Which is what you should have been doing too"

Deeks stepped right into the room. He heard a creaking noise and stopping in front of the wardrobe. A hidden flap from the ceiling suddenly dropped down and Ben held onto the iron bar just inside the hole. Ben swung his legs down, catching Deeks at the back of his head, knocking him forward off his feet and his gun out of his hands. Deeks rolled onto his back and bent his legs up in defence. He kicked out to his attacker but Ben braced himself for the kick and evaded it deftly. Ben drew out his knife from the small of his back and waved in the air before lunging at Deeks with the shining silver blade. Deeks leapt back onto his feet and ducked the swinging blade before snatching up his gun from the floor and twisting around to aim at Ben. Ben leapt sideways and round kicked at Deeks' legs to knock them out from under him. Deeks fell flat on his back but looked back over his head and while still on the ground, he raised his gun and fired twice. Ben Carting dropped to the floor with a bullet wound to his groin and another to his heart.

Slowly Deeks got to his feet. He looked at the man at his feet and a wave of pity washed through his veins. He didn't want it to end this way but he knew it would be inevitable.

"I'm sorry Ben. I'm sorry it had to end this way" Deeks said sadly.

"Deeks…you ass…."Ben sputtered out before his life slipped away.

Callen, Sam and Kensi walked into the room and stood looking at the lifeless body and then at Deeks.

"You okay Deeks?" Sam asked.

"I'm fine Sam. I can't believe it's over"

Kensi walked over to Ben's body and at the bullet wounds that Deeks had fired. She grinned when she saw where the first shot landed.

"The groin? Really Deeks?" smirked Kensi

"Yeah, I have no idea where I got that from" smiled Deeks.

"Eric, get a forensic and LAPD team here to lock it down. Soon as they're here and we've briefed them we'll head back to Ops" Callen said over his comms.

"Got it. Oh and Hetty said to tell Deeks that she's waiting for him"

"Ah…now that will be something to see" chuckled Callen.

"Deeks get back here!" Sam called out, to the young detective who was backing away from getting in the car.

**There you go. Reviews welcome. Much love xxx**


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm back again with another chapter for you! Hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: you know the drill…not mine**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 11**

"Deeks get in the car, you're being a girl" Kensi admonished.

"Kensi, do you even realise that Hetty is waiting for me back at Ops…I mean it's Hetty!" Deeks whined.

"Keep talking shaggy and I'll tell Hetty to really go to town on you" Sam grumbled.

Sighing, Deeks knew he was defeated. Three tough agents who took great delight in watching him squirm whenever possible had surrounded him and were putting out their best glares at him with looks of "Yeah no way you're getting out of this Deeks".

"Fine" Deeks said with a sad sigh.

"Good boy. I'll even buy you an ice cream if you behave" smiled Kensi.

"Pfft, you didn't even buy me one last time like you promised" Deeks mumbled.

"I promised I would buy you one if you didn't cry. Not if you passed out on the floor"

"Gee I'm really feeling loved today" Deeks moaned as he got into Kensi's car.

**COUNTY JAIL**

"I'm sorry Mr Sanderson to tell you that your stepson, Ben Carting has been shot and killed today" Prison Psychologist Henry Gibson said in the small office at the Prison where James Sanderson was an inmate.

"Who shot and killed him? Was it Detective Marty Deeks LAPD?" Sanderson yelled in anger.

"I'm sorry I can't say. All I know he was shot and died during a shootout. I don't have any other information" Gibson said.

"Yeah, well thanks for telling me about Ben. What about the funeral for him?"

"I understand you are the only next of kin Ben had is that right?" Gibson asked.

"That's right. I want to bury him next to his stepmom. And I want to be there for it"

"Well I'll start organising funeral arrangements on behalf of you. And I'll see if you would be allowed to attend it" Gibson said as he stood and closed his file.

"You do that….I have something else I need to organise…"Sanderson tailed off.

**BACK AT OPS**

"Mr Deeks! Come with me. Let's get you fixed up" Hetty called out to the bullpen where Deeks had just sat down in his chair with the others.

"Uh…no need Hetty. I'm fine…it's all good" Deeks called back to her.

"Mr Deeks. I will be the judge of whether your injury is fine or not. When I ask you come with me I mean it. Your pain is my pleasure" Hetty said firmly as she took a hold of his arm.

Sam, Callen and Kensi just smiled broadly as they watched the helpless Deeks turn and put on a "Please help me" look at them.

"Should we spy on this G?" Sam asked, chuckling.

"Hetty would kill us if we spied on her. No I think this is a moment for just Deeks and Hetty" Callen replied.

"Aw, but I so want to watch Deeks squirming" giggled Kensi.

"You are so mean to your partner sometimes Kensi" Callen said shaking his head.

Kensi frowned at Callen's remark. _'I'm not always mean to him am I?'_ she thought to herself. _'I do tease him a lot. But he teases me too so that evens things up'_. Who was she kidding, she had noticed when she teased him now, that sometimes she could see a hint of hurt in his eyes that wasn't there before when they started to work together as partners.

**MEDICAL ROOM AT OPS**

"Let's see what the damage is shall we?" Hetty said as she gently pulled off Kensi's temporary bandage. "Ah Mr Hanna was correct. The wound is not a severe one. We'll get you right again in no time Mr Deeks".

"Um…really Hetty this is fine. You don't have to…"

"Mr Deeks. You are one of my team. When one of my team is injured I make sure the injury is medically treated. You do not doubt my abilities do you?"

"No of course not Hetty…it's just…"

"Oh out with it Mr Deeks" Hetty spat.

"I'm just used to patching myself up when I get injured. When dad used to hit me, my mom would usually be too badly beaten too to help me with my injuries from him. I mean she tried where she could but sometimes she couldn't even move from the floor. I usually just treated my injuries myself and then helped her if I could. Half the time I didn't know what I was doing since I was just a kid"

"Well you don't have to worry about your father anymore Mr Deeks. You have a family now and we are very glad to have you in our team." Hetty smiled.

"Really Hetty? Cause sometimes I get the feeling…"

"Mr Callen, Mr Hanna and Kensi may all tease and mock you from time to time but that doesn't mean they don't like or respect you Mr Deeks. I'll let you in on a little secret…Mr Callen once told me that he felt the team was now complete with you in it and he admired the way you came to Kensi's aid when you last got shot at the hospital. Also he knows that you two make a great team and he doesn't worry about Kensi now because she has a reliable and skilled partner to back her up"

"Callen said that? Wow…I just figured I was comic relief for the team and a liaison when needed out on a case. And a partner for Kensi"

"So you see Mr Deeks. You are an invaluable wheel in this well-oiled machine and this team works like a Ferrari with you in it, rather than a…"

"Jaguar?" Deeks chuckled. Hetty gave him a withering look and Deeks quickly stopped his smile.

"My Jaguar is better than any Ferrari with me behind the wheel, Mr Deeks"

"I am so glad it wasn't me who shot your car up Hetty"

"Mmm. Yes well I am too. I don't think I would have had the heart to torture you over doing such damage to my car if it was you Mr Deeks"

Deeks could only swallow a gulp. He so greatly admired his boss who scared him a little. She had been to places and seen things he had only heard about on the news or from other people.

"There we are all done. Now try not to get yourself injured any more than that Mr Deeks" Hetty said.

"I'll try Hetty…but who knows what the bad guys have in store for us" Deeks said with a smile.

**COUNTY JAIL**

"Tyno? It's James Sanderson here. Yeah look Ben's been shot and killed by Detective Marty Deeks from LAPD" Sanderson said to his friend on the outside during his weekly allowed timed phone call.

"Oh man I'm sorry Sanderson. Anything I can do?" Nick Tyno asked.

"We need to put that asshole cop six feet in the ground where he belongs" snarled Sanderson.

"I'm with ya James"

"Shut up and listen Tyno. There's an old warehouse downtown where I hid some stuff I had acquired over the years. Inside one of the wall cavities is a hidden wall, behind it are about 20 high powered rifles and some hand grenades. I want you to get it all and call Karl Landers and Igor Hantolov to help you"

"What do you want us to do with it when we get the stuff James?" Tyno asked

"What do you think? Kill Detective Marty Deeks" Sanderson gruffed. "Don't call me again until it's done"

**Thanks for reading! Please feel free to review if you want. Next chapter soon gang!**

**Much love xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey girls and boys, welcome to another chapter! Sorry if the chapter sort of jumps around a little from place to place. Hope you enjoy…**

**Disclaimer: nope not mine…but you already know that**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 12**

"So how was it Deeks? Did Hetty give you a good going over?" Callen smiled as the blonde haired detective walked back to his desk in the bullpen.

"Yeah did you get a needle?" grinned Kensi, "Did you drop like a rock again?"

"It was fine. Hetty was fine. No major damage was done, and no needles" Deeks sighed, "Although, she did say something about you three needing updated vaccinations soon"

"Liar, we aren't due for those for another year" retorted Kensi.

"Actually Kensi…." Sam nodded.

"No way Sam. Really?" Kensi gasped.

"Don't worry Fern, I'll buy you donuts every day for a month if you don't cry" Deeks smirked.

"At least I can handle it like a…"

"Like a what Kensi? A man? Because I always thought you were a girl. There's no way I failed anatomy in high school."

"I'm surprised you would even know the difference between a boy and a girl Deeks"

"Well you would be amazed at the amount of anatomy I know Kensi"

"If this highly unusual conversation is over and you have all finished your reports you can all go home" Hetty called out.

"Thanks Hetty. I think we needed saving from that conversation" chuckled Callen, "Goodnight guys"

"Later G", Sam nodded, "And you two, thanks for the…"

"Witty, funny conversation we just had" Deeks interrupted.

"I was going to say frightening, but ok. See ya" Sam smiled.

"See ya Sam. Come on shaggy boy, let's go home"

"Right behind you princess. Oh can we stop by my apartment on the way, I've gotta get some things"

**COUNTY JAIL**

"Did you get all the gear Tyno" James Sanderson called one of his loyal followers.

"Sure did Sando. Now we just have to find the Detective you're after"

"I can help with that. Call a man named Steven McNerry. He works at LAPD and he's one of my moles within the police force. Ask him to find Deeks' whereabouts and get back to me when you have the info. Then I'll tell you what to do with the gear, you got it?"

"Yep, got it Sanderson. I'll get right back to you" Tyno rang off.

**DEEKS' HOUSE**

"Thanks for stopping here Kens, I just need a few more things" Deeks said as he threw some clothes in his bag.

"No problem. How 'bout a dvd tonight?" Kensi nodded.

"Oh I got the perfect movie to watch" smiled Deeks, as he went to the cupboard and searched through his collections.

**KENSI'S HOUSE**

Deeks unlocked Kensi's front door and walked straight to the back door to see Monty, while Kensi brought in the pizzas and beer they picked up on the way home.

"Whoa, hey boy you been good huh buddy?" Deeks asked his scruffy old dog, until Deeks noticed the hole in the corner of the yard and Monty's dirty paws.

"What's with the hole Monty huh? No treats for you today my friend. Very naughty"

"Deeks what are you doing, dinner's ready" Kensi called as she walked over to where Deeks and the shamed Monty were standing, "Oh that is some hole Monty and what is my bra doing inside that hole? That was hanging on the line."

"Sorry Kensi, he must have got a bit bored while we were at work. I'll fix it up" Deeks mumbled.

"I'm not that worried about the hole, Deeks as Monty's a better gardener that I'll ever be. But the bra inside it? That's a worry!"

"I know. I thought he had way better taste in lingerie. I know his Daddy certainly has" Deeks grinned, but Kensi just rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You see Kens, this is a classic movie", Deeks said brandishing the dvd cover at her.

"Well I'll judge that for myself whether it's a classic or not" Kensi retorted.

"You'll love it, guaranteed" Deeks said as he pushed the dvd into the player.

"What's it called again?"

"It's Raiders of the Lost Ark, Kensi" Deeks rolled his eyes in disbelief, "I still can't believe you haven't seen it before"

"Shut up and get the popcorn from the kitchen Deeks".

**COUNTY JAIL**

Nick Tyno and Karl Landers waited in the secure room for James Sanderson to come from his cell for the meeting.

"Well what did my mole tell you" Sanderson said sharply as the chains on his wrists clinked against the table as he sat down in the chair.

"Detective Deeks is working as a liaison with a federal agency. He's not certain of the agency as everything is classified, but he did find out it's not FBI or CIA" Tyno explained.

"What sort of liaison?" Sanderson asked.

"An LAPD liaison so McNerry said. Apparently he helps assist the federal agency with cases with inside LAPD knowledge. But McNerry said Detective Deeks also is required to go back to LAPD for undercover work when needed to, so he's not entirely involved permanently with the federal agency"

"Do we know a location for Deeks?" asked Sanderson gruffly.

"McNerry gave me his home address. Karl, Igor and I started a surveillance stakeout earlier tonight"

"And?" Sanderson said impatiently, keeping his eyes on the guard who was starting to walk over to him, to tell the party their allotted time was almost up.

"He's got a partner. Female. He picked up a bag from the apartment then got in the car and drove to his partner's house"

"Did you follow them?"

"Sure did Sando. We're all set. Just give us the nod and we'll sort it out"

"Good. Do it. Don't stuff it up" said Sanderson as the guard tugged on his arm.

**KENSI'S HOUSE**

"Okay I admit it Deeks, the movie was pretty good" Kensi said, licking the crumbs of popcorn from her fingers.

"Pretty good? Really Kensi, I've gotta educate you more on some classic movies"

"So what do we do now? Another movie or bed?" said Kensi nonchanently

"What do you feel like Kens?" grinned Deeks.

"Really? Are you like twelve or something?"

"Actually yep I think I was about twelve when I started thinking about girls in that sort of way"

"Yeah, well you wouldn't have known what to use it for then" snickered Kensi, "You probably still don't".

"Well I've had no complaints so far. How 'bout you? Any complaints?"

"None" Kensi smirked.

"Tigress in bed is Kensi Blye?" Deeks eyes shot up.

"Why are you looking so surprised?"

"I'm not. I just always kind of figured you'd be the dominate one in a relationship"

"Hey I can be all girly and stuff and let the guy lead when I need to" pouted Kensi.

"Right. Tell me how's that been working out for you?"

"Okay not so well, but I just haven't found the right guy yet"

"Maybe you need to stop looking so hard. Maybe he isn't that far away" Deeks smiled.

"Maybe…" Kensi turned and smiled back.

The glass shattering and the loud firing of high powered rifles through her front window came at shuddering speed. Kensi and Deeks threw themselves to the floor on their stomachs as both of them reached around their backs to retrieve out their handguns.

"Stay down Deeks!" Kensi yelled over the noise of bullets.

"Kensi! Get behind the sofa" Deeks yelled in return.

They pulled out Kensi's sofa and leapt over the back and ducked down.

"Are you thinking these guys are Sanderson's goons?" Deeks asked loudly.

"I would say so. Should I try call Callen on my cell?"

"If you can. I'll take a quick peek of how many guys"

"Don't get shot while peeking"

"Gee thanks for mentioning that Kens, just hurry up and dial"

Kensi quickly scrolled her contacts list for Callen's number and waited anxiously for his pickup.

"Callen? It's Kensi. Deeks and I are in a bit of trouble here at my place. It looks like Sanderson has guys doing his dirty work for him"

"I think there's three guys out there!" Deeks yelled.

"Yep okay, thanks" Kensi hung up.

"Well?" Deeks asked, as he crouched at the window and aimed into the darkness.

"Callen's on the way"

"I guess it's up to us until he gets here then"

"I guess so" Kensi said joining him at the window.

"Hey Kens?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I dragged you all into this mess with Sanderson and Ben. I didn't mean for this to happen"

"I know Deeks, maybe it's time you left LAPD though, so your 'friends' from your LAPD cases don't find you as easily"

"I think you could be right Kens" Deeks said as he and Kensi ducked down from the spray of bullets that seemed to be coming closer.

"Hurry your ass up Callen!" yelled Deeks

**There you are. The end is nigh though. How will it end for our favourite duo? Until next time… Reviews would be great. Much love xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Here we go last chapter…Hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: NOT MINE**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 13**

"Can you see them Deeks?" Kensi shouted over the gunfire that was starting to hurt her ears.

"They're moving closer to the side of the house. Shit Monty, I've gotta get him inside!"

Deeks crawled on hands and knees to Kensi's back door, with his gun still in his hands. He turned the knob on the door and whistled to Monty who came barking and running quickly to the sanctuary inside.

"You okay boy? Go to the bedroom Monty, drop to the floor and stay" Deeks pointed in the direction of Kensi's bedroom and watched as Monty dropped down and awkwardly crawled to where he was told.

"Is he okay Deeks?" Kensi asked, firing off a round from her gun.

"Fine. Remind me to get him a big juicy bone to make it up to him would you?"

"Let's just make sure we get out of this so we _can_ get him a bone, Deeks okay?"

"Deal. I'm gonna make it up to you too Kens"

"Ssshh! I think I hear Sam's Challenger" Kensi hushed her partner.

Sam and Callen roared up to the kerbside and bounded out, with guns aimed. They saw two guys off to the side of the house and quickly signalled to each other that Sam would go to the other side of the house and for Callen to go the right and they would meet up in the yard to take them out. Karl Landers was the first one that Sam saw and noticed that he had pulled out a grenade from his pack and was ready to pull the safety pin out.

"Stop! Federal Agents! Don't even think about using that if you want to stay alive for a bit longer" Sam fiercely growled.

Landers yanked out the pin and tossed it in the direction of Sam who fired two pinpointed shot into Landers while yelling out, 'grenade get down!' as he was firing. Sam threw himself to the ground as the grenade exploded, with a bright orange light. Callen, Deeks and Kensi heard the order and also dropped to the floor. Igor was hiding in the bushes by the side of the house and made the mistake of thinking that due to the explosion, he could find his way inside the house to Kensi and Deeks. He was wrong. Callen saw the green bush sway and rustle from Igor's movement and fired off his gun, causing Igor to stagger and fall bloodied into the thorny bushes.

"That's two down Kensi. That means one more" Deeks whispered.

A shrill, loud bark from the bedroom from Monty alerted them to the last danger they faced. Tyno had crawled in Kensi's bedroom window. A shot being fired and a yelp from Monty made Deeks run to the room in anxiety for his companion. Deeks burst through the doorway and saw Tyno with his gun still aimed at Monty. Tyno turned around and saw his target, so he swivelled his arm to aim at Deeks.

"Asshole! You shot my dog" Deeks yelled.

"Detective Deeks. This is courtesy of James Sanderson. Justice for killing his son." Tyno sneered before clicking his revolver into place.

Tyno didn't get the chance to fire. Deeks emptied his magazine into Tyno without hesitation. Tyno dropped in a pool of blood, before gasping his final breath. Kensi ran to the room, along with Callen and Sam who barged in the back door, hearing the shots fired from inside.

Deeks dropped to his knees beside his dog, who whimpered softly in pain from a shot to his shoulder.

"Oh my God, Monty!" Kensi cried out, as she joined her partner.

Sam came over and grabbed a towel from Kensi's bathroom before going over to Monty and gently wrapping him and scooping his arms under and hoisting him up.

"I'll call Hetty. Hopefully she knows a vet we can take him to", Callen said, quickly taking out his cell phone.

"Deeks help me get him in your car" Sam said, but Deeks stood silently in shock. "Deeks!"

"Oh right, coming Sam" Deeks shook himself back to reality and the reality of the situation.

"Hetty said to take him to Hetera Vet Hospital. It's the closest one to here. She's already informed the vet in charge there of the situation and she's called the number one vet in LA to assist", Callen said as he held open the door as Sam and Deeks gently pushed Monty in the rear seats.

"I'll drive. You and Deeks stay in the back with Monty" Kensi said as she ran around to the driver's seat.

"I'll wait here until the cops can be sorted out. But I'll be right behind you guys" Callen nodded.

Knowing how erratic Kensi's driving is, Deeks gave a small smile at how quickly they arrived at the hospital. The vet, Doctor Brian Rushling came outside to meet them.

"Let's take him straight into the room" Dr Rushling said as Sam and Deeks carried the sick dog into the surgery.

"I'm sorry you will have to wait outside now" Dr Rick Stone, who was the most experienced vet in LA came through the side door adjusting his surgical gloves.

Deeks gave Monty a pat and kiss on the nose and quietly left the room with the others before slumping in the waiting area chair and burying his head in his hands. Kensi walked over and sat beside him, rubbing her hands on his back.

"He's going to be okay Deeks. Monty's tough. He can handle it, I know he can" she whispered.

"Kens, he's an old dog. This might be too much for him" Deeks sighed.

"Hey, that shaggy mutt is as tough as his owner" Sam said, "Hetty's got the best vet in the whole of LA to take care of him, so he's in the best hands now"

Deeks could only smile thinly as the hour dragged into the next as Callen and then Hetty arrived at the hospital for support. Four and half hours later the two vets came out to the waiting area.

"Detective Deeks, Monty had a gunshot wound to his shoulder. We have removed the bullet and stitched and bandaged it. The wound nicked a muscle, so no running for him for a good three to four months, however I'm fairly certain that Monty will make a full recovery" Dr Rushling explained.

"Can we see him?" Deeks asked.

"Sure right through here" the vet waved his hand.

Monty was lying on the gurney with a thick wadded bandage on his left shoulder. Deeks got on his knees and raised his head so he his face was nose to nose with Monty's. He gave the dog a gentle pat on his head.

"Oh Monty, I'm so sorry boy" Deeks whispered. Monty, hearing Deeks' voice sniffed his owner's nose before a very wet tongue appeared and was soon licking all over Deeks' face.

"I think that means its okay Daddy. I forgive you" Kensi smiled.

Kensi, Hetty and Callen all took turns in giving Monty a pat and getting kisses from him before leaving the room and waiting for Deeks to say goodnight. Deeks gave Monty a final pat, saying he'll be there tomorrow to see him and turning to leave. He saw Sam in the corner, sigh then walk over to the gurney. Sam bent over and gave Monty a pat and whispered to 'stay strong and I'll even share my lunch with you when you get out' before Sam stood straight and glared at the surprised Deeks who was watching.

"I mean it Deeks. I swear if you say _anything_ about what just happened…"

"Whoa, my lips are sealed Sam. And thanks for everything…for helping Monty"

"Come on shaggy, let's leave the other shaggy to rest for tonight"

**A FEW WEEKS LATER…**

As the vet had told them that Monty was not fit for any running for a few months, Deeks sold his apartment and bought a small house, much like Kensi's apartment with a small yard, to make it easier for Monty. The team had pitched in to help Kensi fix up her wounded little house and yard and when it was completed, she had offered for Monty to stay there while he recovered and Deeks could occupy the spare room.

"Thanks all the same Kens, but going to your house might give Monty a few nightmares for a little while" Deeks said.

"Oh yeah, I guess you could be right about that" Kensi dropped her head in disappointment.

"So I guess I better get home then. I'll see you Monday for work?" said Deeks

"Sure…oh give Monty a kiss and pat for me please?"

"Will do" and with that Deeks ambled out the door to head home.

**KENSI'S HOUSE**

Kensi sat alone on the sofa with a huge tub of ice cream, while watching Top Model. The show was one of her favourites but she couldn't concentrate on it tonight. Her mind was on Deeks. She knew she had treated him badly lately and she was feeling incredibly guilty about it. She got up and went to her closet, pulling out a pair of jeans and a top to change into. Kensi dragged a brush through her hair then grabbed her keys and raced out the door. She stopped by a couple of shops on her way before arriving at Deeks' place half an hour later. Kensi walked up the path with her arms full of items before knocking as best she could on the door.

"Deeks, it's me. Open up?" Kensi called out.

"Kensi, what are doing here?" Deeks said surprised.

"I have gifts!" she smiled as she walked inside and placed the items on the side table.

Monty came over with a wag of his tail, pleased to see her. "Hey boy, how you doing huh?" Kensi smiled as she gave him a pat. Monty gave a bark as his response.

"I'll say that's an 'I'm fine thanks Kensi' bark"

"Yeah, I think he missed you" Deeks smiled.

"Well let's see what we have in these bags huh?" Kensi mused as she reached into the bags. "Well look what we have here! A big fat juicy bone and a brand new collar and leash"

Kensi smiled as Monty happily took the bone from her and proudly paraded it around the room.

"Ha-ha okay boy take it to your room" Deeks laughed as Monty obeyed his order.

"Oh look here, there's something else in here too" Kensi grinned as she reached in once again. She pulled out a confirmation letter that said a reservation for two adults at the Baha Beach Resort in Mexico in a few days' time.

"Kensi? What's this for?" Deeks asked, looking quite confused.

"It's an apology. I know I don't always treat you very well…in fact I probably take you for granted a lot. I just want you to know that I do appreciate everything you do for me and how good you back me up and that you are a good partner to me…"

Deeks walked up and embraced her in his arms, to which Kensi didn't resist at all.

"Thanks Kens. This means a heck of a lot to me" Deeks whispered, "Hey look I'm getting my first hug from you"

"I never said you wouldn't get one. I just think you had to earn it"

"I'm honoured. Oh wait…what about Monty?"

"Got it covered. Sam is going to take care of him while we are away"

"Sam? Are you kidding?" Deeks exclaimed.

"Nope not kidding. Sam was happy to take him. He said his kids have been harassing him for months to get a dog so this would be an exercise in seeing how responsible they are looking after a real live dog" Kensi answered.

"Should I be worried? I mean this is Sam we are talking about" Deeks frowned.

"Not at all. Sam quietly admitted to me that he does sort of like Monty. Just as he sort of likes his owner" she grinned.

"Wow, remind me to get Sam a 'I love kittens t-shirt'"

"I wouldn't push my luck"

"Right…so what are we going to do in Baha?" Deeks asked.

"What do people usually do there? They surf right?"

"Yeah and other stuff"

"Stuff? What kind of stuff Deeks?"

"Oh…you'll find out", Deeks grinned, "Hey don't worry Fern if you're with me nothing can go wrong"

"Famous last words" Kensi screwed up her nose.

**There we go…or maybe a Mexican trip? Let me know if you want a next Mexican chapter! Reviews welcome! Much love xxx**


	14. Chapter 14

**As requested by you all soooo nicely, here is the Mexico chapter! Please bear in mind that I have never been to Mexico so all places, names etc. are totally made up by me (unless they actually do exist – that would be spooky)…**

**Disclaimer: just the story is mine – all NCISLA stuff isn't**

**HANDS OF GUILT**

**CHAPTER 14**

"I'll pick you up at around 7.30 tomorrow morning, okay Deeks?" Kensi said over her cell phone, as she was finishing packing her bag for the trip to Mexico she planned for Deeks.

"I'll be ready Kensi. I already dropped Monty off at Sam's place yesterday. His kids fell in love with him right away. I can see I may have a fight on my hands to get Monty back from Sam's kids" Deeks laughed.

"It would be funny to be a fly-on-the-wall watching Sam 'bond' with Monty" Kensi giggled.

"True. Well I guess I better make sure I got everything I need for our trip…so I guess I'll see you bright and early tomorrow partner!"

"You will. See you soon Deeks" Kensi smiled as she disconnected the call.

Although the Mexican trip was going to be very short, Kensi was looking forward to it. She hadn't actually had a proper holiday for a fair while and the fact that she was going with Deeks made her feel she was going away with her best friend. Deeks was good to her, she knew that of course, but lately she had been extremely harsh on him, even forgetting his birthday. This little trip would be her chance to exorcise her guilt and banish the old, harsh Kensi for good.

**NEXT MORNING**

"Deeks! Are you ready?" Kensi called out as she pounded on his front door.

Deeks opened the door with a huge grin and clutching his bag in one hand and his surfboard tucked under the other.

"Hi Kens, all set. Let's get going!" Deeks snickered as he pulled the door shut behind him and locked it.

"Have you _got_ enough there Deeks? It looks like you're taking the whole house with you!" Kensi frowned.

"Hey, I bet you got lots of girly stuff you're taking" Deeks pouted.

"It's Mexico… Sun, sand, surfing, bikinis there's not a lot else Deeks"

"Bikinis…what colour?" Deeks grinned.

"You'll have to wait and see…but it is brand new" Kensi grinned.

The drive down to Mexico took a few hours, so Kensi and Deeks shared the driving duties so every hour they would do a swap around. It was Kensi who took the last leg of the journey and she took the chance to sneak a peek as they drove past the coastline towards their Resort Hotel, not far away. The waves were rolling in and Kensi noticed Deeks happily smiling at the blue ocean calling his name to be surfed. Twenty minutes later, they drove into the Baja Beach Resort Hotel. Walking into the front reception office, Kensi told the front man, Enrico, the room for two was under the name of Kensi Blye. Enrico smiled and handed the keys to the single room.

"Number 419, Miss Blye. Take the elevator to the right over there. If there is anything we can help you with further please let us know" Enrico said.

"Okay thank you" Kensi smiled, "Let's go Deeks, we have our room keys"

Kensi turned the key to the large blue door, turned the handle and opened wide the door. The room was coloured a cool blue, with a large double bed in the middle and a small bathroom nearby.

"Wow Kens, this room is awesome" Deeks said surveying the room.

"Yeah I know. I'm glad I picked it now we are here" Kensi answered.

"Uh Kens…you did notice it was a double bed in here…not two singles?"

"Yeah of course Deeks. Look we are adults aren't we? Seeing as we have shared a bed before I know it's not going to be a problem. _Is it?"_

"Ah yeah, sure. No problem at all Kens"

"Good. Now what do we do first?"

"Well when we drove down I did notice the surf looked pumping…how 'bout a surf?"

Kensi sighed, "You and your surfing, honestly. Okay let me go get changed I'll come down to the beach with you"

"Okay you take the bathroom, I'll get changed out here" Deeks said, starting to undo his shirt.

Deeks quickly changed into his board shorts and a wetsuit over the top of that. He fished out his beach towel from his bag before sitting on the bed, waiting for Kensi. Ten minutes later his brown haired partner came from the bathroom, wearing a small pink and blue bikini with her hair in a ponytail.

Deeks whistled approvingly, "Whoa Kensi. You look…amazing"

"Thanks Deeks" Kensi shyly smiled, "Let's go then"

The walk down to the beach took only ten minutes and they found a spot that was not close by the crowds of people that were lying on the sand. Kensi fanned out her towel and laid it down, setting her tote bag beside her. She dug out her sun hat and sunglasses, before grabbing out the tube of sunscreen.

"Hey do you want me to rub that on for you Kens?"

"Okay…just my back though. I'm quite capable of doing my front"

"Hand it over" Deeks nodded. He squeezed out the sunscreen into his palm and gently started rubbing it on Kensi's bare back. He noticed she had closed her eyes as he was doing so and smiled to himself.

"There you go, all done" Deeks grinned, "Now to hit the water. You coming in?"

"Thanks Deeks but I think I'll sit here for a little bit. I'll come in soon though. Let me know how the water is"

"Okay" Deeks said picking up his surfboard.

"Hang on Deeks!" Kensi said, pulling on his arm, "Wait you didn't put any sunscreen on your face. Come here". Kensi sighed as she squeezed the tube and gently rubbed the lotion into Deeks' face, working gently around his blue eyes. "Okay now you can go in"

"Thanks mom" Deeks grinned.

Kensi watched as Deeks hit the water, his arms ploughing through the breaking waves to get to the outer edges to be able to ride the waves back into the shore. She admired his abilities on the board as he waited patiently for the right wave to form, before deftly paddling to catch it and standing effortlessly on top of the crest. He rode the wave all the way into the shore and gave a wave to her as he jogged up to see her.

"Come on Kensi. The water is so warm" he puffed.

"I don't have my wetsuit" Kensi frowned.

"Honestly you don't need it. Come on!" Deeks hauled her up by her arms. Kensi and Deeks jogged down to the water and she jumped a little as her feet touched the water for the first time.

"Oooh, I thought you said it was warm Deeks" Kensi squealed.

"It is…once you start swimming around" Deeks smiled as he dived under the waves. Kensi ventured in further too and as Deeks had suggested, she began swimming and soon began to warm up. They took turns using Deeks' surfboard to ride the waves and after a few hours of surfing, they headed up to the beach to head back to the resort.

"You're getting much better at surfing Kensi. I'm impressed" Deeks gave her a warm smile.

"I had a very good teacher" Kensi smiled, "I'm starving. How about a shower then something to eat?"

"I'm hungry too, so that sounds like a good plan to me"

"Its way past lunch time so let's wait for dinner time. We can try that little restaurant downstairs at the resort"

"So we'll grab a snack now then get something more substantial for dinner"

They walked to the nearby café right near the beach and had an ice cream and a soda before making their way back to the Resort.

"I'll have a shower in the pool room downstairs. You can take our room. I know it takes girls a long time to get changed and ready"

"Hey I can get showered and changed fast too" Kensi shook her head.

"Really Kensi?"

"Well….sometimes" Kensi grinned as she pushed the button for the elevator.

She jumped in the shower, humming as the warm water washed over her body. She shampooed her hair and turned the taps off. Still humming as she wrapped the soft white towel around her she walked out to the bedroom and sorted through her bag until she found what she was looking for. Quickly she dressed and blow dried her hair in the mirror and put some make up on her face. She sprayed her favourite perfume all over and was replacing the lid on it, when she heard a knock on the door.

"Kens? Can I come in yet?" Deeks called out.

"Sure. Come on in" Kensi called back.

Deeks opened the door to see his partner; Kensi Blye dressed in a royal purple coloured short dress with sky high heels and a delicate bracelet.

"Wow Kensi…you look incredible" Deeks said mouth agape.

"Well you don't scrub up too badly yourself Deeks" she smirked as she adjusted his shirt collar, "Shall we?"

"Hell yeah" Deeks grinned, looping her arm through his in the old fashioned way.

They arrived a few minutes later at the Mariella Restaurant downstairs. Paulo the front man greeted them warmly before leading them to the table for two. Paulo handed them the menus and poured out water for their glasses.

"Mariella, that's a pretty name" Kensi commented.

"Si, Mariella is the name of my boss Raul's daughter. Unfortunately Mariella died when she was six years old. She got caught in a cross fire from a fight between two drug cartels as she was walking home from school one day" Paulo said sadly.

"Oh that is so sad!" Kensi gasped, "Deeks that sounds so much like what happened to Ava's little brother do you remember?"

"Yeah I do Kens. What would you recommend here Senor Paulo?" Deeks asked.

Paulo went through the menu list and called out the names of a few of his favourite dishes to try. Kensi settled on the fish, while Deeks went for the spicy.

"Chili. Are you sure you can handle hot chili Deeks?"

"Hey I handle chili everyday…I work with Kensi Blye" Deeks laughed.

As they were ravenously hungry they gobbled down their dishes and before they knew it, Paulo came around with the dessert menu.

"Any dessert Kensi? Or is that a silly question?" Deeks asked, rolling his eyes.

"Of course I'll have dessert. I just need to figure out which one to have" Kensi bit her lip, before finally deciding on a Sopapilla Cheesecake. Deeks decided he didn't really want a big dessert so he settled on a coffee and a churro.

"You have a bit of cream on your lip…here I can get it" Deeks noticed before reaching over and gently wiping it off with his finger and licking it afterwards.

"Oh, thanks Deeks. So where to now?"

"I dunno…how 'bout nightclubbing next door?" Deeks shrugged.

"Ooooh yeah, love dancing" Kensi grinned as she called Paulo for the check.

Kensi and Deeks stopped at the bar and had a couple of cocktails before Kensi was immediately drawn to the infectious, pulsating rhythms of the Latin music playing and dragged Deeks through the throng to the dance floor in the middle of the room. Her hips started swaying, keeping perfectly in sync with the beat. Deeks laughed as he watched her sashay and swirl around him. He didn't like dancing much, but was willing to risk looking like he had two left feet to make Kensi happy.

"This is _soooo_ much fun Deeks!" Kensi yelled over the loud music.

"Yeah, you're a good dancer Kens" Deeks yelled in return.

They were having a good time when the DJ abruptly stopped and started playing a slow dance. Kensi and Deeks stopped and looked at each other, unsure of whether or not to continue. Deeks made the decision for them both by wrapping his arms around her, drawing her in close to him.

"Now this is more my tempo" Deeks whispered loudly in her ear. Kensi shyly smiled before she hesitantly moved to rest her head on his shoulder. Deeks guided her head to the resting point, his arms gently squeezing a little tighter around her. They swayed gently in time, Kensi's eyes closing with happiness. She felt safe, warm and comfortable in Deeks arms and she realised she wanted to stay right there, forever in his arms.

"Deeks?"

"Yeah Kens?"

"Will you kiss me?"

"Did I just hear you right…did you just say you wanted me to kiss you? Or are you horribly drunk?" Deeks broke his hold a little and looked right at her.

"Unless you don't want to…"

Deeks didn't need asking twice. He kept one arm around her waist and moved his other hand up to her face, gently stroking his thumb against her cheek. He tilted his head to the side and edged closer before closing his lips onto the soft pink lips of Kensi's. Immediately he felt sparks coarse through his body and he felt Kensi's return kiss grow deeper.

"I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that Kensi" Deeks shyly admitted.

"I have too Deeks…although maybe I am a little drunk. I think that cocktail had a little more kick than usual" Kensi slightly slurred.

"Do you want to get outta here?" Deeks asked.

Kensi slowly nodded, "I know a place"

"Where?" asked Deeks.

"Upstairs in our bedroom"

Deeks clasped her hand and led her to the exit. They waited impatiently for the elevator to arrive and when it finally did Deeks started kissing her neck as she pushed the button. Fumbling with the door key, Deeks unlocked it and pulled her inside grinning at her bursting into laughter. He pulled on the zipper of her dress, pulling it down as she smiled unbuttoning his shirt. Kensi twirled in a little dance around Deeks before pulling him down with her onto the bed.

"Kensi am I taking advantage of your drunkenness here? Because if I am…we can stop right now…"

"No you are not taking advantage of my slightly drunk state Deeks. Why, do you want to stop?"

"No. I…I…just don't want you to regret doing this with me"

"Deeks you aren't forcing me to do this. I _want_ to do this with you. I just don't want it to change anything between us, especially at work"

"Don't worry Fern. This won't change me…well it will change the way I feel about you"

"The way you feel about me?"

"Come on Kensi you know there's this thing between us"

"Oh…yeah you're right. There is a thing. Luckily I have a tried and true cure for it"

"Really? Care to let me know Kensi?"

Kensi rolled over and held Deeks down so she was straddling over him, holding his wrists with her hands.

"Just give in to the thing. So much better for your sanity in the long run" Kensi smiled.

"Huh…well I wish we gave in to the thing much sooner" Deeks grinned broadly as Kensi leaned in for another passionate kiss.

**Awww! How I wish they would finally give in to their feelings on the show *sigh* I mean – come on Kensi get your act together! Sheesh if you don't want him Kensi then I'll gladly have him LOL. Still there's always hope! Thanks for reading everyone. Please Review if you wish. Much love xxx **


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey there friends! So this is the last chapter for this story. Hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Yep NCISLA is not mine…more's the pity if it was mine Deeks and Kensi would be together now.**

**HANDS OF GUILT **

**CHAPTER 15**

"Well I guess we should be starting to head back to LA Kensi. Eric just rang me, told me Sanderson has more charges being laid against him so the prosecutors want me to be in court for sentencing" Deeks said.

"I have enjoyed Mexico so much more than I thought I would Deeks. This was a good idea of mine huh?" Kensi smiled.

"The best idea Kens", Deeks grinned, "and even better for what happened last night"

Kensi giggled, "You're such a boy. I'll start packing up. Can you go down and make sure we have paid everything up?"

"Sure. I shall return"

Kensi packed her bag then packed Deeks' bag too. It wasn't something she would normally consider doing, but she felt a change within herself over the last few days. A wave of happiness swept through her and it made her feel more alive than ever before. Deeks had brought out the best in her, she knew and this was the first romantic experience she's had in quite some time and she was determined to make sure it lasted.

"I'm back! Just let me finish packing my stuff Kens, we can get going" Deeks stated.

"I've already done it Deeks" Kensi smiled.

Deeks walked over to his bag, "Really? You didn't booby trap it or plant a disguised bomb or something did you?"

"No…I was just being nice"

"Oh, well thanks. I appreciate it" Deeks said as he hugged her.

They threw their bags in the car and started the long drive back to Los Angeles. Kensi drove first so had possession of the radio…techno blaring through the cabin, before Deeks had his turn and immediately changed it to his favourite channel.

They were nearly close to the border when Kensi stirred after having a short catnap in the passenger seat as Deeks drove.

"Deeks pull over at this gas stop. I have to pee" Kensi mumbled.

"Ha! And you accuse _me_ of having a tiny bladder" Deeks grinned at her.

"Well you do" Kensi retorted.

"Actually…I have to pee too" Deeks shyly admitted.

"Gee what a surprise" Kensi said rolling her eyes.

Deeks and Kensi topped up with gas, before making their way inside the shop and finding the restrooms. After their pit stop, they walked around the few aisles grabbing chocolates and lollies to refuel their stomachs on the drive back home. Kensi wanted a coffee break and noticed a few tables near the far end of the shop so Deeks ordered at the counter while Kensi took her sugar stash of junk food and grabbed a seat and table. A few minutes later, Deeks came over with the two coffees and sat beside the window, a chance to catch a breath and just people watch for a little bit. They were both nibbling on a few lollies and so didn't notice at first the brunette walk over to their table. Deeks glanced up and gasped…

"Oh my God…Ava. What are you doing here?"

"Marty. How great to see you. I'm just checking out a possible guy on our wanted drug trafficker list who's rumoured to be in this area." Ava smiled and leant over to kiss his cheek.

"Well Kensi and I were here for a little holiday" Deeks replied.

"Hello Ava" Kensi said without a smile.

"Agent Blye wasn't it?" frowned Ava.

"Kensi's my name. In fact, Deeks and I got together this weekend"

"Really Marty? You and Kensi?" Ava asked.

"Uh yeah Ava. It was unexpected…but it was awesome" Deeks stumbled.

"Well…I thought Kensi would be too high maintenance for you Marty"

"What is _that_ supposed to mean Ava?" Kensi raised her voice.

"Well I can't see Marty with someone like you Kensi. I don't think you're his type" Ava sneered.

"Perhaps it's you who isn't his type Ava" Kensi countered.

Ava smiled, "I better get going Marty. It was nice to see you again"

"Yeah you too Ava" Deeks smiled, "We should get moving too Kens"

Ava pushed open the door before turning and calling out to Deeks, "Oh Marty, if the sex with Kensi is only just okay…well you know where to find me"

Deeks could see Kensi's hands slowly curling into a fist and her face turn to thunder so he quickly decided a hasty retreat was the best option.

"I'll drive. You might kill someone after that little encounter" Deeks said taking the keys.

"How…how _dare_ she!" Kensi fumed.

After the long drive back, Deeks finally turned the corner into Kensi's street. He parked in her driveway and helped unload her bags.

"Thanks for an _awesome_ holiday Kens", Deeks smiled as he kissed her.

"You're welcome Deeks" Kensi nodded, "You going to get Monty now?"

"Nah, I think I'll leave him with Sam for one more night. I'll see you tomorrow"

"See you Deeks"

Deeks got in his own car and took the short drive back to his house. He opened his door and threw his bag in the bedroom. Grabbing a beer out of the fridge, he flopped on the sofa starting channel surfing on the TV. It was about 11.30 by the time he stumbled off the sofa and into the bathroom for a shower and crashing into bed.

_Thump, thump, thump. _ Deeks groaned as he heard the repetitive fist banging on the front door. He groaned and threw the covers back and switched on the hall way light.

"Alright, I'm coming! Who is it?" Deeks moaned.

"Deeks open up its Kensi" she called out, still pounding on the door.

A twist of the handle, "Kensi? What on earth are you doing pounding on my door at 12.30?" Deeks asked, rubbing his eyes.

Kensi said nothing but barged inside, grabbing Deeks' wrists on the way and dragging him to the bedroom. She whirled him around and pushed him backwards onto the bed and climbing on top of him. She tugged at his t-shirt, pulling it up and off over his head to reveal his bare chest.

"Ah Kensi, as much as I'm enjoying what's happening here right now…but is something wrong?"

"Ava pissed me off. I'm here to prove just how much better I am" Kensi growled as she passionately kissed his lips.

Kensi set the sex in motion and Deeks willingly went along for the ride. It was passionate, erotic and way more intense than anything they had did in Mexico. With a final kiss, Deeks rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Wow Kens…that was…wow" he sighed.

"Yeah…wow" smiled Kensi, "Hey Deeks can I ask you something? I mean you don't have to answer…"

"What is it Kensi?"

"If Ava asked you out…I mean if you wanted to see her…"

"I'd still choose you every time Kensi. You don't have to prove anything to me. I know you're perfect" Deeks soothed.

"Really? You would choose me?"

"Yes Kensi. Look I hardly know Ava. I mean sure our last meeting here in LA there was a connection…but I've liked you since I met you. I've _wanted_ to be with _you_ since I met you"

"That's so sweet Deeks"

"And it's always the case of better the devil you know than the devil you don't"

A swift punch in the shoulder told Deeks she didn't approve of that little saying.

"We should get some sleep Kensi. I've got a big day tomorrow"

"Right…goodnight Deeks"

Deeks rolled on his side and turned Kensi's head to face him, "Goodnight princess" he kissed.

**NEXT MORNING…**

Deeks got up early and started making some pancakes. He set the two plates on his little table and walked into the bedroom…

"Oh Princess Kensi! Breakfast is ready" he sang.

Kensi sniffed the air and grinned, then bounded out of bed and ran to the kitchen "mmm, pancakes. Let me at them!"

"Hey save some for me, sugar bear!" Deeks ran after her.

They munched down breakfast then while Kensi cleared away; Deeks had a shower and put on his grey suit. He was going to court to hear the sentencing of Sanderson today and it would be a relief to finally get this case finished.

"Wait a sec, I'll get changed too" Kensi said, putting the coffee cups on the shelf.

"You haven't got any clothes here though Kens" Deeks looked at her confused.

"I knew when I raced out the door last night that I would be spending the night here so I threw some clothes in the car" she admitted.

"Well…so it was a pre-planned attack last night then" Deeks grinned, "Not that I'm complaining in the least"

"I won't be long" Kensi rolled her eyes and headed to the bathroom.

**COURT…**

An hour later, Deeks and Kensi were sitting in the courtroom listening to the judge read out the charges.

"Conspiring with your foster son to make a bomb and plant it to attempt to murder Detective Deeks. Conspiring with outside associates to attempt to murder Detective Deeks at a house. Bribing a mole inside the police department to become an ally to you. Mr Sanderson this record you have is nothing less than shocking. I am personally horrified at the lengths you took to take down Detective Deeks. I am sentencing Mr James Sanderson to an extra 20 years in jail with zero chance of parole. Case over" Judge Pamela Titman stated.

Kensi smiled at Deeks, "It's all finished Deeks. Sanderson is going to die in jail"

"I can't say I'm sorry to hear that Kensi. This was a case I wish I never had"

"Deeks! Deeks you asshole I will get you. I will!" Sanderson yelled, as the guards manhandled the struggling man.

"I wouldn't bet my life on that Sanderson. It's over." Deeks called back.

"Let's get out of here Deeks" Kensi took his hand.

"No argument from me Kens"

Deeks and Kensi drove to Ops to tell the rest of the team what transpired at the court. They walked into the bullpen and collapsed in their desk chairs.

"So…what happened?" Callen asked.

"Well Sanderson copped another 20 years with no parole. He's 60 now so he'll most likely die in jail" Deeks nodded.

"Good result" Sam smiled, "Sometimes justice is served"

"Yep" Deeks grinned.

"Wait… so how was Mexico?" asked Callen.

"It was great" smiled Kensi.

"Great…although we did run into Ava and let's just say if Kensi had her gun…"

"You don't know _how_ much I missed my gun at that time Deeks"

"Are you meeting up with Ava?" Sam asked

Deeks smiled at his partner who was smiling back, "Nah, I don't think we'd suit each other"

**So there we go. I have enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thanks to everyone who reviews, follows and favourites. Your response means so much to me! **

**Oh be on the lookout for a brand new story coming to fanfiction very soon! Much Love xxx**


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